it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
