just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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