if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
