the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
