everyone is single if you try hard enough
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
