thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
