this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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