White coat. Heels.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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