Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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