I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
