i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
