I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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