just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
