If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
