I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
did i just pee glitter
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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