Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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