why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Verdict: uncircumcised.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize