apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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