Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
