what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
