I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
