i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
