ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
