i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
