if you like me you must not know who I am
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Please, let me fuck your mom
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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