and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
