Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
