Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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