we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
