We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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