dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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