i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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