I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
