the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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