You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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