how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
