you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
