Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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