she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
