summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
