in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
