One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
