i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
