Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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