I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Randomize
