atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
