So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
