Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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