I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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