This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
