I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
