just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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