is your mom at the bar?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
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