I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
